Can Men & Women Just Be Friends?

It's an age-old question..."can men and women just be friends, or does sex always get in the way?"

I've heard people sharply reply "NO, not unless one of them is gay!" and then others who agree with me and say "absolutely!"

Some of my most valued friendships have been with males, and I find my time with them a refreshing contrast to the often drama-filled, highmaintenance and emotional interactions with my lovely lady friends. My very straight, very egotistical best guy friend is someone who's company I never seem to tire of and who's brutal opinions I can always count on to hit me with a dose of reality. For better or worse, females have a need to comfort other when they're down, whereas men seem to take a much more practical approach- a balance which has helped me see things in my life much more clearly.

While rummaging through my Nonna's TV cupboard one day, I came across an old VHS copy of the movie 'The Mirror Has Two Faces'. Impressed that it wasn't a black and white film, or similarly one which had been digitally retouched, I curiously pressed play.

I was at this point a hard-working, focussed, 20-year-old girl who had never been in a relationship and simply longed to travel the world. I sat there intrigued by the character Rose, played by Barbara Streisand, and constantly drew paralelles between her and myself.

She was the conversationalist, the intelectual who had an opinion on anything and everything. A woman you would love to catch up with for a coffee or casual dinner, even go for a long walk on a summers day. She was not however the woman you wanted to take straight to bed.

Maybe this is where my opinion on the matter stems from? All through high school, in fact most of my adult life, I've been the friend, never the girlfriend. That one person who others could always turn to for advice, comfort and honest truths. I can't say I minded fulfilling that role I think every group of friends has at least one of them, but there did come a time when I longed for someone to fall in love with what was on the outside as much as the inside. To go from 'the fat girl with the pretty face', to simply be thought of (by someone other than my parents) as beautiful.

Jump 3 years ahead and I've not only traveled the world but found someone who truly thinks I'm beautiful- my imperfections are perfect to him.

My male friend and I are both in long-distant relationships and are very much in love with our partners, but while the whole situation may strike alarm bells for some, for us it's been just another topic of conversation. There has been no crying on each others shoulder or throwing ourselves into one anothers arms, instead just two people learning a lot about themselves and life through each others company.

At the end of the day, I think the answer depends on the people involved. No one rule can apply to all mixed-gender friendships and if you ask 10 different people for their opinion, you'll most likely get 10 different answers. All I know for sure is that having a male friend works for me.