I was working with a friend of mine a few weeks ago when we began talking about the future and how life never turns out the way you had planned. My friend was facing a slight dilemma about his ‘next move’, when all of a sudden the spotlight shone on me when he came out with "...you know what Nat, I always thought you'd be somebody by now!"
In an awkward silence, I stood there for a second, wondering which way I should take his comment? After processing what had just been said, I slowly found myself somewhat agreeing with him. I was the girl who thrived at school and surpassed many people’s expectations. For me, it was easy because I had goals and I knew what direction I was heading in. Then I graduated and went off to uni- naturally the next step in my eyes, and although I didn't particularly enjoy it, I ticked that box too. From there I decided to go on a once in a lifetime trip where I travelled Europe and the United States for 9 months, before living in London for a further 9. Then, after 18 months away I returned home only to wish I was doing it all over again. That is where I am today. I've been back for 6 months now and I'm well on my way to lining up all my ducks so I can do it again soon.
When I went through and formed this timeline in my mind, I realised that I literally had no time to 'become somebody' in the 23 years of my life so far. Yet still, as much as this reality made sense, I still somehow found myself being a little underwhelmed with what I had done to date. Crazy, I know! In many ways, I’m my own worst enemy. I have impossibly high standards of myself and strive everyday to add to the ‘bigger picture’ of my life’s journey.
Perhaps it’s arrogant to say, but when I was younger, particularly on the day of my year 12 graduation, I honestly thought I was different, that one day I’d 'be somebody'? By 'somebody' I didn’t mean famous, but rather that I would achieve things or have a career that stood out. That in itself is a fallacy.
I also remember at graduation promising myself that I’d never work in a job I didn’t love. I admired my parents who both loved their careers and took that component of happiness and translated it into creating a great home and family. I could never understand those people who complained everyday about their job but had no intention of changing it. If life in London taught me one thing, it’s that people can withstand almost any situation if it provides security. Security financially, in a relationship, in a social environment, in just about anything. I never thought I’d face the day when I’d wake-up and drag my butt to a job I ended up hating, but in the midst of a recession and with bills to pay, my choices were limited and I served myself a big bowl of “suck it up soup”.
Looking back on that experience now, and I can honestly say it was a pivotal experience in helping me ‘become somebody’. I may not find my place in the world or my passion in life for another 5, 10 or 20 years, but that in itself is part of the journey. If my quest is to live an extraordinary life, then it will be extraordinary according to no one else but me!
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