Who really has the Power?

I went out for dinner with my colleagues last night and like many conversations, the topic of relationships came up. We discussed a theory I hadn’t thought about before- the shift in the balance of power between men and women and how it changes over time.

Let me explain...

When you’re a teenager or in your early 20’s, girls have all the power. They head to night clubs dressed in little bits of material accompanied by a whole lot of skin. At the beach they’re in little shorts and a bikini top, and while it shouldn’t be done, teens are arguably the only ones who can get away with a mini skirt and ugg boot combination in the middle of winter. Team this with a young man’s raging hormones and their ultimate desire to prove their worth to the ‘wolf pack’ and boys are like putty in a girl’s hand.

Exit your mid 20’s and begin heading towards the frightening 3-0 and all of a sudden the shift of power changes. Single women begin thinking about life partners and subconsciously their biological clock starts ticking a little louder than before. Women are now on the offensive, attacking eligible bachelors like a prey of lions feasting on a carcase. And while women play survival of the fittest, men are discovering just what a hot commodity they really are. Suddenly the pool of ‘potentials’ becomes bigger as men ponder on the options of older, younger or similar aged women? By this stage in a man’s life, the pimples have gone, scrawny bodies have filled out nicely and there is plenty of money in the world to be made.

When you become a thirty-something woman, the power can shift one of two ways. As I’m still in my 20’s, this information has come via hearsay and I cannot prove its accuracy. However, I’ve been told that if you’re married and have a child then you’ve gained the power back, and by power I mean sex. “Honey, I wouldn’t be so tired at the end of the day if you helped with the washing” or “I don’t even have time for myself anymore yet alone pleasing you”. Children, a mortgage, household duties and maintaining romance are key ingredients used to make the delicate cocktail called ‘married life’.

So, say you’re not married or in a committed relationship at thirty-something...have you reached your expiry date? I’d hate to think that was the way I felt in my 30’s, but observing society as they walk the streets, dine in restaurants or go about their everyday activities, I can understand how women can form a complex. Single, attractive and successful men in their mid to late 30’s are like gold. Most of the good ones are either married, gay or dating someone who resembles your former, fabulous twenty-something self. In this instance, men have regained the power.

So what comes next? You’re in your 40’s, either single, married or considering signing up to an online dating site. Once you reach this age bracket, do both sexes wave the white flag and call a truce? I mean, if you’ve reached 40 and have spent the past 20 years looking for that special someone without any success, aren’t you just tired of looking and ready to get off the dating merry-go-round? That ride can be exhausting, even for a wide-eyed and hopeful young lady like me.

I’d like to think that in 30 years time I can look back on this post and laugh. Laugh at how young women, including myself worried about things we really can’t control- love being the first thing that springs to mind. Laugh at how this theory on gender and the shift of power was all wrong. And laugh knowing that if we’re confident, comfortable and happy individuals, then we’ll always have the ultimate power, no matter the circumstance!