I remember the days when my biggest problem was deciding what colour ribbon to wear in my hair for school each day, or whether I wanted mum to pack me a Vegemite or Peanut Butter sandwich for lunch? As you grow up, your thoughts and perceptions of the world do too and when this realisation hit me, my mind began to fill up with countless questions all ending with one word… ‘why’? It was at this point that I started my first diary.
Growing up, I never really had a best friend- not like the kind of friendships you see in a Disney movie at least. That one special person you meet during childhood who you can confidently confide in and without even needing to speak, can read each others minds. I suppose there are times while growing up that I longed to find someone like that, but now looking back I’ve realised I had two things which combined, were even better.
Firstly, I had an incredible relationship with my 2 beautiful sisters. We are uniquely and perfectly different young women, but through the love, lessons and morals of our parents, we are fundamentally the same. I think one of the reasons why we have such a great bond is because we are always honest, always there and most importantly, are never jealous of each others success or good fortune. I realised I didn’t have one best friend- I had 2!
And secondly, I have always had my writing. Some people find their peace in music, art, meditation or simply running through wide open spaces with no real destination. For me however, my therapy comes from lighting a candle, reaching for my journal and putting my thought and feelings down on paper.
I have always preferred to write on paper as opposed to a computer screen. I find something precious and personal in being able to hold something containing every up and down you’ve experienced during a certain period of your life. Its tangible, easily accessible and you can always pick it up, throw it in your bag and take it wherever you go. Writing in a book however can be the safe option. It never judges you on the decisions you’ve made, or asks you the tough questions. It never offers advice or says when you’re being unreasonable or too forgiving. It is what I both love and hate in the process, but now I’ve decided to be brave and share some of those thoughts, feelings and dilemmas with the world. Sure I’ll always keep my journal, but there has to be something good to come from the world of blogging, right? So, here I am- baring my mind, heart and soul for the world to see. Whether this ends up being a good experience or a bad experience, it is an experience none the less, and I am confident there is plenty for me to learn from this process.
