In the days leading up to my first Speed Dating experience, I found the reactions of my friends and colleagues fascinating when I mentioned how I would be spending my Friday night. Most were a little stunned at my attempt to do something so taboo, while others laughed in disbelief or contrastingly sat in anticipation for more details. Regardless of their reactions however, very few of them were willing to put their hand up and come along.
My mentality leading into this social experiment was simple. I would consider myself a 'normal', creative, interesting young woman with plenty to offer a partner...I just happened to be single. In my mind, it didn't seem unrealistic to assume that I'd surely meet other young men, who for whatever reason were single too. I hadn't thought that was too much to expect, right?
Apparently, I was wrong!
Friday night rolled around and I had picked up my wingman on my way into the city. When we arrived, we were confronted by a rather sterile space with sparse seating and dim lighting. The host sat us down at our own tables and offered us champagne. I'm not a big drinker, but at the time, a glass of whatever was on offer would have gone down perfectly. As potential dates came streaming in, I felt like a preened puppy on display at a local dog show. I suppose everyone was looking for that instant connection with someone before the 8 minute speed dates commenced, but instead all I found myself doing was glancing over at my friend who amusingly had "get me the hell out of here" written all over her face. Her sudden lack of enthusiasm was somewhat amusing.
However, I was determined to have a good (and at the very least interesting) time, so I threw all my preconceived ideas out the window and went into each date open minded. If there weren't any emotional or romantic connections, I figured there was the potential for a friendship or two?
The group of men were diverse to say the least. There was a landscaper, a physiotherapist, an IT consultant, an advertising project officer, a music teacher and an unemployed driving instructor.
Heading into my first 8 minutes with bachelor number 1, I tried to steer clear from having a set approach to each date, but to rather let things happen as naturally as possible, like a normal conversation I'd have with the guy who makes my coffee in the morning or packs my groceries at the supermarket. I didn't want to feel like I was interviewing the guy and I didn't want him to feel like he was being interrogated. However, I soon realised that when you're sitting a foot away from a person who's giving you one-word answers and isn't initiating any conversation, that's a hard rule to stick to!
My personality and the skills I've learnt through life experiences and employment opportunities have made it easy for me to converse with most people, irrespective of where they're from or what they do. In the realm of Speed Dating, it was like I had a full house and I knew I was going to win! Unfortunately, some of the men I met looked like they had lost the hand before even sitting down at the table.
1 glass of champagne, 3 canapes and 8 dates later, we handed in our 'interested or not' cards to the host and awaited to hear contact from potential matches over the following days. Desperate for a debrief, my friend and I avoided further awkwardness and left shortly after the formalities concluded.
It's unfortunate that I didn't have a more positive experience Speed Dating, because I'd love to be in the position where I could confidently say to other single friends "go for it, it's a fun night and you never know what could happen?". I suppose I can still say that, but I truly believe the success of an event like Speed Dating is heavily based on finding the right night for you. Being able to identify the 'type' of person you're looking for and pick an appropriate night to accommodate your interests, is going to significantly increase your chances of finding a match.
Call me crazy, but if someone invited me to another Speed Dating night, I think I'd probably accept. Speed Dating provided me with the opportunity to meet and talk to people I would never interact with in my usual circle of friends. Sometimes when you've exhausted your option in an environment which is familiar and safe, throwing yourself into something new can surprisingly bring unexpected results. Or, at the very least provide you with a great story to share at your next dinner party!
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