Whether it’s in life or love, I’ve come to realise through my own experiences and those of the people around me, that we all have an Achilles Heel. Obviously I'm not referring to the physical kind, but by this I mean that one friend or past lover who, no matter how hard you try to resist, always seems to rein you back in with unprecedented force.
For me, it’s a girlfriend who despite making no effort to catch up on a regular basis, knows in the back of her mind that I will always have her back and will never turn her down in a time of need. We’ve been through too many experiences with each other that now, I find it hard to say no to her. I will probably always be her shoulder to cry on, her voice of reason and that one person who can reminisce about times once had and in doing so, bring a smile to her face. And as crazy as it sounds, if I’m being honest, she probably wouldn’t do the same for me. I don’t know why I can accept that fact so easily? Maybe I just know her limitations and therefore aren’t expecting things from her that I know she can’t deliver? Regardless, I count her as an important friend and despite our infrequent catch-ups, we’ll probably always be in and out of each other’s lives.
Then there’s the Achilles heel of relationships and this one can be dangerous. Whether it’s your first love, the person who gave you the best sex of your life or someone that simply makes you feel sexy, beautiful, comfortable, safe or all of the above, there was probably a reason why the relationship didn’t work out, yet they keep popping up in your life and you keep letting them back in.
When it comes to the Achilles of relationships, there’s no reasoning, rationalising, justifying or trying to understand how or why you let them pass ‘go’ time and time again. But in my effort to blame it on something, I’m putting it down to the simple fact that “people do stupid things when they’re in love” or furthermore, make stupid decisions when it comes to those that they were once in love with. It’s an interesting dance that our mind and our heart seem to play with each other. One goes left, the other right, and in the end you’re left straddling a line and knowing that parts of both directions make sense.
With all of my closest friends, I have seen them bounce back from some pretty horrendous relationships with men who I could clearly and objectively surmise were not right for them. With time, they each came to realise this fact after being lied to, heartbroken or having faced some pretty damaging truths and while parts of them know for a fact that they are better off without these men, there remains a cosmic force that keeps luring them back.
Whether you loved Sex and the City or hated it, there’s no denying that beneath the Manolo Blahnik's, catwalk fashions and fabulous parties, Carrie Bradshaw and her on-again, off-again relationship with Mr Big is a scenario which I'm sure most of us can relate to in our own lives. Her emotional tug of war polarised viewers, including my girlfriends and I- some who thought she was better off without Big and others who thought he was the love of her life in a complicated kind of way? In any case, he was her Achilles Heel and while her friends had their own views and opinions on the relationship, sometimes love is a journey and healing process you have to go on alone before you can clearly see what everyone else can.
So what’s the point to my Achilles Heel theory, you ask? Well, I suppose I don’t specifically have one, except to acknowledge that we all have these types of people in our lives and we can’t ignore it. I don’t know if it’s right or wrong for me to keep accepting these people into my present, but in some place in my mind it makes sense in the same way as it does for my girlfriends within their own unique circumstances. So maybe, for as long as these people make me feel good more often than bad, I should take them and their baggage along for my ride through life.
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