Stop. Look. Listen.

It's easy to be offended when a person you're just getting to know sits in front of you and with all the best intentions, provides their own analysis on your life decisions. By decisions, I mean them questioning why you work so much, why you refuse to wear track pants and ugg boots out in public or why you're so standoffish when it comes to men? Naturally, we're all likely to go into defence mode and without a moments hesitation begin justifying ourselves to someone who may not even be worth the time or energy? However, as I discovered a few days ago, sometimes waving the white flag and listening to what they have to say can be a liberating and insightful journey.

I think we can all become a little deluded at how others perceive us- especially upon a first encounter. Confidence can be misinterpreted as arrogance and similarly friendliness for flirtiness or shyness for disinterest, despite our intentions to project something quite different. Of course it's easy to argue that you're new acquaintance is firing judgement with no prior understanding of your life or circumstances, but when it happened to me the other day it got me thinking. If this was his opinion, than could it be others too?

Women often wonder why they attract the same type of guy or why their friends are all inherently the same? Could it be that we send a message to strangers without even knowing it? Just like most women, I've been hurt by men before and although I have forgiven some of their actions I will never forget the way I felt in those moments of madness and heartache. Have these experiences made me hesitant when trying to get to know someone new? Before my conversation with my new friend I would have said no, but now I'm starting to wonder...?

I suppose my conclusion to this experience is that sometimes we find ourselves reaching a place in our lives where it's easy and relatively comfortable to become complacent. The trouble with complacency is that it becomes increasingly more difficult to stop yourself unless someone brings unhealthy behaviour to your attention. Could we all take a little advice from someone who barely knows us? All I know is that sometimes someone special can make you sit back and think "maybe track suit pants aren't that bad after all".

: 25 Things...

To those who know me best, it's no secret I'm a list junkie.

I’d like to say it serves a specific purpose and is solely used to accommodate my ridiculously busy life, but truth be told, I’m just an organisational freak.

One of the many lists I have is one called “25 Things To Do Before 25”.

This is my version of what many call a Bucket List, except in my case I’m working on a specific timeframe rather than an entire lifetime. My thinking is, since no one knows when their final day will come, the excuse “I’ll do it later in life” bares no relevance so why not start ticking things off now?

I find lists are tangible and when goals are written out on paper they almost become part of a contract with yourself rather than a thought or figment of the imagination.

I’m turning 24 this year, so I have just under 18 months to complete 25 things which scare, challenge and excite me.

When I was 18, I remember writing a list of things to do before I turned 21, originally thinking those 4 years would last forever. Then, in the blink of an eye I had finished uni, was planning to travel around the world and just like that, time had passed. There were unfortunately a couple of items on that list which remained incomplete, but they’ve just advanced onto another list.

One rainy London afternoon I decided to relive my travel adventures by reading my journal, when I came across the list I made at the sheltered age of 18. As I read through the goals I had set for myself 6 years ago, and couldn’t help but laugh. The truth was, I was a little dumbfounded at the fact that at one stage of my life, I had considered those goals a big challenge. Maybe it was maturity, life experience or simply the fact I had grown as a person, that made me see things in a different light? It was an interesting personal analysis, and the facts were written out right in front of me. It was like seeing myself grow in words rather than pictures.

So with all that being said, the point of this post was to say that I’m currently in the process of ticking off number 17. Albeit the easiest item on the list, number 17 is to watch all 7 seasons of Sex and the City. While I’d like to excuse this indulgence as a necessary resource in developing my relationship skills, the truth is it’s nothing more than a guilty pleasure...

Fashion Indulgence...

Ladies of the world…

If you’re anything like me, your favourite section in a trashy gossip or fashion magazine is the collage of must-have items and celebrity outfits.

The “Under $100” lists always get me a little bit excited and the “runway to everyday” comparisons offer inspired options for those of us on a budget or earning less than the likes of Angelina Jolie and Gisele Bundchen.

So, imagine my excitement when I discovered the website WHOWHATWEAR.

Finally I had found a source that offered me all the things I loved most about fashion magazines in one location.

For those of us in Australia, this site is a great sneak peak into the latest fashion trends overseas, most of which will hit our shores later in the year. And, if you’re keen to hit next season with a wardrobe ready to go, then the site provides affordable alternatives through online shopping resources.

Whether you’re looking for a daily fashion fix, a reason to hold off on writing that essay or simply some much needed inspiration, then I encourage you to loose yourself in the treasures of WHOWHATWEAR.




[an example of what you'll find...]



Muse Of The Moment...

Kate Moss.

She's a woman after my own heart.

A woman who loves to wear black!

While Kate Moss' life choices have more often than not been questionable, her wardrobe decisions have landed her countless magazine covers and put her at the top of many peoples style icon list, including my own.

For those like me with a wardrobe overflowing with black pieces, Moss proves it can be made to look chic rather than rocker.

 

Going Goo Goo For Gaga

Last night Lady Gaga's Monster Ball Tour was broadcast on television, and since I was overseas on her Australian leg of the tour, it was a couple of hours of TV I didn't want to miss.

Gaga has critics, haters and legions of people who simply just 'don't get her' and therefore are afraid of what she stands for and represents. While watching the show with my mum and sisters, I couldn't help but cringe a little as I saw my mum's reaction when 2 of her male dancers ended a song with a passionate kiss, and then every time she grabbed her crotch, thrusting it against props on stage while swearing like a sailor mum's face turned blank in disbelief.

Love her or hate her, Gaga is as theatrical a performer as we're likely to see in my generation. First there was Cher, then Madonna and now Gaga has taken the title of crazy.

What I think is important to note however, is her message behind the crazy. I think Gaga's lyrics in the song Born This Way sums it up best...

I'm beautiful in my way

'Cause God makes no mistakes

I'm on the right track baby

I was born this way

Don't hide yourself in regret

Just love yourself and you're set

I'm on the right track baby

I was born this way

Her message to everyone that you're born perfect is a powerful one and in a world where appearance and perception rules, Gaga is a fresh and influential celebrity for our youth to look up to. She's loved by gay communities around the world and her fan base is vast, from the Western World to the Middle East.

I remember the first time I saw Lady Gaga perform. It was at the 2008 Miss Universe Pageant and the exact thought that crossed my mind while watching her was "this chick's going to be a one-hit wonder!" Little did I know that behind the auto-tuning and wig was an amazing voice and an artist who would set the bench mark for outstanding live performances across any musical genre.

Had Gaga lived a charmed life and a relatively easy road to stardom, similar to the likes of the Christina Aguilera and Brittany Spears' of the world, then I believe her music, passion and x-factor quality wouldn't be as powerful as it is. Rejection can be the greatest motivation of all and Gaga continuously encourages her fans to never give up on their dreams and to never let others tell you you're not good enough.

I wonder though, when the day will come that Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta (Lady Gaga) will emerge from behind the make-up, costumes and outrageous accessories and walk the street in a pair of sweatpants and a tshirt? Unfortunately, that day will likely be the end of the fantasy and alas the end of Gaga herself.

Yet, despite the crazy, anyone who promotes self love and confidence in whatever art form it comes is welcome in my world any day!

Album Of The Month...

Alicia Keys The Element Of Freedom

1. The Element Of Freedom (Intro)

2. Love Is Blind

3. Doesn’t Mean Anything

4. Try Sleeping With A Broken Heart

5. Wait Til They See My Smile

6. That’s How Strong My Love Is

7. Unthinkable (I’m Ready)

8. Love Is My Disease

9. Like The Sea

10. Put It In A Love Song feat. Beyoncé Knowles

11. This Bed

12. Distance And Time

13. How It Feels To Fly

14. Empire State Of Mind (Part II)

Coming To A Stage Near You...

Working in the Entertainment/Catering industry, I am fortunate enough to see all the big-name music artists from Australia and abroad take the stage in front of sold-out audiences.

I've seen the best and the worst performances going around. I've met the divas and the down-to-earth celebrities. I've seen lip syncing at it's best, all the cliches associated with 'sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll' and even a few backstage tantrums to boot. Seeing glimpses of concerts every week, my standards of a truly amazing live show are impecably high and as a result, I've found the list of artists I'd love to see perform reduced to a humble few.

Among the elite (in my mind at least) are soul/RnB singers Sade and John Legend. So, imagine my disbelief when I discoverd that they were not only touring...but touring together! Then, imagine my disappointment when I realised they were only doing 2 shows, both of which were interstate and sold out! What's a girl to do?

Learn from my experience and sign yourself up to your local ticketing website or favourite artists official site for regular tour updates and even pre-sale tickets. Trust me, you'll kick yourself if you don't and later find you've missed out!

Guilty Pleasures...

I believe that everyone should be allowed at least one guilty pleasure when it comes to reality TV. A free pass where no matter how bad or pathetic the show may be, you can watch it free of criticism and without anyone placing judgement on the level of your IQ.

For me, I’m all things Kardashian! I know that those ladies don’t wake-up looking as fabulous as they are, but rather spend hours in a chair getting pampered and preened before they step out in front of the cameras. Still, despite the scripted scenes and charmed life created through perfect editing...I’m hooked!

For me it’s equally as much about the fashion as it is the envious lifestyles they lead. I mean, who wouldn’t want to be famous for simply being famous? If people were paying me thousands of dollars to show up to a movie premier in a designer anything, I’d be in!

With all that being said, I’m waiting in anticipation for my dear friend to start downloading the new episodes of Khloe and Lamar, because let’s face it, who wouldn’t want to watch people that own a shoe collection like this...

Some Days...

Some days have the ability to take your breath away. Like when you receive an unexpected delivery of flowers to your office. Discovering that the dress you bought online fits like a glove, or the moment when you exchange a smile with a stranger and immediately feel all warm and gooey inside.

Other days you’re just a winner! There’s an empty parking spot right near the supermarket door. Your run into work during peak hour is flawless and hassle free. Your local barrister sees you coming from a distance and before you’ve even paid, has your coffee waiting on the counter.

There are days when you feel like the world is against you. That no matter what you do or how much you try, you just can’t seem to catch a break. You arrive at the office only to notice a huge run in your stockings and the friends you’ve planned to have dinner with that night suddenly cancel on you.
Then there are days like today. Just as things seem to be travelling along nicely, you get blind sighted by someone you truly care about and suddenly feel like you’re gasping for air. That one little piece of information had the ability to change your mood, make you lose concentration, suddenly not feel hungry and put this awful feeling in the pit of your stomach that no matter how hard you try, you just can’t shake.

So, what’s on my ‘bounce-back’ menu?

Entree: Out the office door at 5pm and into the city for some retail therapy.
Main: A delicious dinner with some of my closest girlfriends for a catch up on life, love and everything in between, and finally
Dessert: A scented candle, a glossy magazine and the piece-of-mind that tomorrow morning I can sleep-in.

I'll let you know if it's a menu worth repeating...

A Pretty Piece Of Reading...

They say it's bad to judge a book by it's cover, but in this case I encourage you to do so!

I recently came across a collection of classic novels which Penguin has breathed new life into with a stunning set of freshly and contemporary covers. Acclaimed designer Coralie Bickford-Smith has created a range of book jackets which are sure to make even those with limited reading enthusiasm heading down to their nearest Borders.

"The challenge is to entice a new audience to the literature and also to not alienate die-hard fans," says Bickford-Smith.

The London-based designer chose Victorian-style cloth bindings that feature stamped patterns pointed to each book's content. "I want these books to be cherished like the literature inside." she says.

Whether you're looking for a gift for the person who has everything or simply a beautiful addition to your bookshelf, these collections are hard to beat and I for one have added them to my 'must have' list.

Fashion Forward...

"fashion is what you're offered four times a year.

style is what you pick out of that fashion"

I saw this quote the other day, and as I read it I found myself in one of those moments where you say an 'a-ha' to yourself. To me, that quote perfectly describes and distinguishes the people who have the ability to throw together ordinary pieces of clothing and make them look fabulous, from those who no matter how hard they try consistently get the 'committment to achieve' award. That's the one you get at school which in a nice way says "we know you try 10 times harder and do more homework than the smart kids, but I still can't give you an A" award. Trust me, for two years I stubbornly persisted with Legal Studies at school, even deciding to do it in my senior year because I was sure that taking down an entire folder of notes would help me recite half the Australian Constitution. It didn't, but my reward at the end of the year was not academic recognition, but rather the consolation of a 'Committment to Achieve' award.
My sister is one of those girls who can walk into a shop and pick up items you personally can't help but screw your nose up at while thinking to yourself "what on earth is she going to do with that?" Yet, somehow she manages to pick ordinary looking pieces, mix them with something she found at an op-shop, accessorise a little and wa-la an amazing outfit is born. Her style is very different to mine, and I probably wouldn't wear half the things she does, but almost every morning before I leave for work I look at her outfit choice with a nod of approval.

Anyway, my point is that not everyone has style and more often than not, it can't be taught. Why do you think so many celebrities have stylists or why women the world over can't seem to get enough of glossy magazines? We all have fashion muses who's style we try to emulate in our own 'non-designer' brand way, but sometimes I wonder how much of what celebrities wear did they actually pick out themselves? Even celebrities like Kim Kardashian and Rachael Zoe, who began their careers as a stylists to the stars (before they became one), now have people sifting through racks of designer clothes and shortlisting the items most suited to them.

One thing I've learnt from my sister though, is that the most important accessory to any outfit is the confidence in which you wear it. And on that note, the only person who's opinion really matters- is your own!

Becoming Somebody...

I was working with a friend of mine a few weeks ago when we began talking about the future and how life never turns out the way you had planned. My friend was facing a slight dilemma about his ‘next move’, when all of a sudden the spotlight shone on me when he came out with "...you know what Nat, I always thought you'd be somebody by now!"

In an awkward silence, I stood there for a second, wondering which way I should take his comment? After processing what had just been said, I slowly found myself somewhat agreeing with him. I was the girl who thrived at school and surpassed many people’s expectations. For me, it was easy because I had goals and I knew what direction I was heading in. Then I graduated and went off to uni- naturally the next step in my eyes, and although I didn't particularly enjoy it, I ticked that box too. From there I decided to go on a once in a lifetime trip where I travelled Europe and the United States for 9 months, before living in London for a further 9. Then, after 18 months away I returned home only to wish I was doing it all over again. That is where I am today. I've been back for 6 months now and I'm well on my way to lining up all my ducks so I can do it again soon.

When I went through and formed this timeline in my mind, I realised that I literally had no time to 'become somebody' in the 23 years of my life so far. Yet still, as much as this reality made sense, I still somehow found myself being a little underwhelmed with what I had done to date. Crazy, I know! In many ways, I’m my own worst enemy. I have impossibly high standards of myself and strive everyday to add to the ‘bigger picture’ of my life’s journey.

Perhaps it’s arrogant to say, but when I was younger, particularly on the day of my year 12 graduation, I honestly thought I was different, that one day I’d 'be somebody'? By 'somebody' I didn’t mean famous, but rather that I would achieve things or have a career that stood out. That in itself is a fallacy.
I also remember at graduation promising myself that I’d never work in a job I didn’t love. I admired my parents who both loved their careers and took that component of happiness and translated it into creating a great home and family. I could never understand those people who complained everyday about their job but had no intention of changing it. If life in London taught me one thing, it’s that people can withstand almost any situation if it provides security. Security financially, in a relationship, in a social environment, in just about anything. I never thought I’d face the day when I’d wake-up and drag my butt to a job I ended up hating, but in the midst of a recession and with bills to pay, my choices were limited and I served myself a big bowl of “suck it up soup”.

Looking back on that experience now, and I can honestly say it was a pivotal experience in helping me ‘become somebody’. I may not find my place in the world or my passion in life for another 5, 10 or 20 years, but that in itself is part of the journey. If my quest is to live an extraordinary life, then it will be extraordinary according to no one else but me!

Growing Up Gender Neutral...

I recently read an article in an issue of Grazia magazine about a single mother who has decided to raise her child "gender neutral". My immediate thoughts were that perhaps the child was born a hermaphrodite (with both male and female genitalia), therefore the mother was allowing her child to decide for themselves what gender they felt most comfortable being. Unfortunately, this was not the case. Malin Bjorn's child was clearly born either male or female, and only a few close family and friends have been privy to that information.

Despite trying to remain open-minded and unbiased while reading the article, I couldn't help but sympathise with the child. Many critics have labelled Malin's decision to raise Charlie gender neutral as a form of child abuse, while others flat-out say her baby is being used as a human guinea pig. I'll admit there were points in the article where I could half-heartedly agree with her decision, but I couldn't help shake the feeling that a child raised with no clear identity is likely to struggle when trying to find their place in the world.

 Malin argues that during her own childhood she was interested in typically male activities, and wanted to pursue a career as a tradeswoman, despite societal pressures steering her in the opposite direction. Although I understand her desire to have Charlie grow-up with the mentality that there's no such thing as male and female roles, this seemed to me like an awfully extreme way of reinforcing the message.

What I believe is the more poignant question in this debate however, is how this social experiment will affect Charlie when it's time for school and with that, the social pressures of fitting in? Where does a child 'fit' when they don't even have a clear understanding of themselves? While Malin concedes there will come a time when Charlie's true gender begins to show, her hope is that the seed will have been planted and her child is empowered with the freedom to be whoever they want to be.

For better or worse, an individuals gender is one of the most dominant aspects in forming their identity. Sexual preference is a personal choice but gender is clearly defined. Being a girl doesn't mean you have to wear pink and play with dolls, nor does the colour blue and toy cars have to be associated with a boy! These are unfortunately stereotypes which have been developed over decades, but I do believe that those lines are constantly becoming more blurred, as the dominant roles of males and females continue to be redefined.

My mojo is back...

After a couple of months absence, I've finally got my design mojo back and let me tell you...it feels good!

After trawling the Internet for inspiration, I finally discovered these fabulous rooms which I just had to share.

[I don't usually like art work that looks as though it's been done by a kindergartner, but this print completely lifts the room]

[I ask...who wouldn't want to dine in this space?]

[This room does all the right things to me. It is utterly gorgeous]



[I love how this old wooden table can double as a kitchen island, breakfast bench or servery for a party. But, it has to be said, the floor to ceiling paneled windows are what caught my eye in this room]

A piece of hope.

Sometimes moral support can come from those you least expect, or in my case, someone you barely know. A new girl recently began working in my office and after a quick chat it became clear that we both had a mutual love of travel and had spent the last few years of our lives living overseas in a blissful yet inaccurate representation of the ‘real world’. We had both found ourselves back in Australia due to circumstances rather than choice, but upon our return our lives didn’t quite pan out the way we had envisioned on that plane ride home. She had a degree in Public Relations, myself one in Journalism, so we both loved to write and in many respects were looking for similar jobs.

I’ve found it tough these past 6 months, being back home and having to swallow the ‘it’s time to get serious about life and start building a career’ pill. I’m pushing through despite my reluctance at times, but according to my new found foe, accepting opportunities no matter how imperfect they may be, is the only way to stop yourself from sinking. After a year of struggling through job interviews and doing work she didn’t particularly enjoy, she’s now found herself in a position she loves and if I asked her today I have no doubt she’d say ''it was all worth it''.

Life’s a funny thing. It’s like this giant roller coaster with no real end in sight, full of ups and downs and in parts consistent plateaus which allow you to regroup and prepare for the next high. My point is, that eventually no matter how far up you go, you’ll have to come back down and that’s always going to be the less fun of the two. Life’s a balance and if you don’t experience the good and the bad, then you’ll never be able to fully appreciate either.

I don’t know what direction my life is going to take and while it’s frustrating and a little depressing; my new colleague gave me a little piece of hope that somehow made everything seem better...even if it was for one afternoon.